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Google revealed Australia’s top searches for 2018 and what is wrong with you people?

Google has unveiled its annual list of top searches for 2018 and there are some hilarious, depressing and downright weird results.

The last year has been defined by bizarre news events, celebrity deaths and political scandals – all of which are reflected in Google’s top searches.

Searches include the Royal WeddingBarnaby Joyce and my personal favourite, ‘Why is my internet so slow?’.

I did my best to make Nicki Minaj the top search, but the Harajuku Barbie was nowhere to be seen. I guess I’ll try again next year.

Here are the top Google searches in Australia for 2018.

Aussies

The fact that Barnaby Joyce took out the number one spot has nothing to do with his policies.

In 2018 Joyce had an affair, a divorce, a son and resigned as the leader of the National Party – all while living in a rent-free apartment.

  1. Barnaby Joyce
  2. Scott Morrison
  3. Peter Dutton
  4. Billy Slater
  5. Craig McLachlan
  6. Vikki Campion
  7. David Warner
  8. Chopper Read
  9. Nick Cummins
  10. Andrew Gaff

News items

Surprising nobody, the Royal Wedding between Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, topped the most searched news items in 2018.

  1. Royal Wedding
  2. Thai cave rescue
  3. Wentworth by-election
  4. My Health Record
  5. Beaumont children
  6. Hawaii volcano
  7. California fires
  8. Listeria
  9. US midterm elections
  10. Blood moon

Celebrity deaths

Every year is marked with a series of celebrity deaths, and this year was particularly brutal for music fans.

28-year-old DJ Avicii topped the list that no one wanted to be on, and was followed by rappers Mac Miller and XXXTentacion, and soul legend Aretha Franklin.

  1. Avicii
  2. Anthony Bourdain
  3. Mac Miller
  4. XXXTentacion
  5. Stan Lee
  6. Kate Spade
  7. Aretha Franklin
  8. Burt Reynolds
  9. Jessica Falkholt
  10. Eurydice Dixon

How to…?

The top spot on this list went to opting out of My Health Records after a Senate enquiry found the database violated privacy, leading to a mass exodus.

My personal favourite on the list is ‘How to win Powerball’ as if winning the lottery is just a matter of a generic Google search. Or is it?

  1. How to opt out of My Health Records
  2. How to watch World Cup in Australia
  3. How to win Powerball
  4. How to delete Instagram
  5. Google Arts and Culture face match how to
  6. How to buy Bitcoin
  7. How to lose weight fast
  8. How to screenshot on iPhone X
  9. How to delete Facebook
  10. How to lose belly fat

What is…?

Bitcoin is the currency that no one seems to understand, and seeing that it’s now trading at A$4,458, it’s no surprise people wanted to know what it is.

  1. What is Bitcoin?
  2. What is listeria?
  3. What is ligma?
  4. What is hazing?
  5. What is a mud room?
  6. What is the capital of California?
  7. What is open on Good Friday?
  8. What is Diwali?
  9. What is blockchain?
  10. What is ball tampering?

Why is…?

Questions concerning why State of Origin was moved from Wednesday to Sunday topped this category, but the most iconic searches are down the bottom of this list.

My question is – why on Earth are so many Australians suffering from green poop?

  1. Why is State of Origin on Sunday?
  2. Why is it called Good Friday?
  3. Why is Russia OAR?
  4. Why is Australia Day Jan 26?
  5. Why is Tim Cahill not playing tonight?
  6. Why is ANZAC Day important?
  7. Why is Australia Day celebrated?
  8. Why is my internet so slow?
  9. Why is Nick Cummins called the Honey Badger?
  10. Why is my poop green?

So there you have it, the most searched topics in Australia for 2018. Google also has an interactive game you can play to test your knowledge of internet trends.

While it’s easy to dismiss the lists as light entertainment, it’s also a great reminder that pretty much everything you do, search for and look at online is being watched.

Let’s hope next year involved some more searches on how to increase your internet privacy.

About the author

Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose. Contact me at jackndelaney@gmail.com.

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