A story about a supposed lie detector test proving that Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin saw a UFO in 1969 is going viral to the absolute delight of every alien conspiracy nut on the internet.
A curious conversation between the crew of the Apollo 11 and mission command in Houston, while they were soaring through space towards the moon, has been used by conspiracy theorists for decades as major proof of a government cover-up.
The brief radio exchange focuses on an unusual object the astronauts saw on their third day in space.
“Do you have any idea where the S-IVB is with respect to us?” Neil Armstrong asked, referring to the third stage of the Saturn V rocket, a 17-metre section that was abandoned earlier in the flight.
Houston answered about three minutes later, “Apollo 11, Houston. The S-IVB is about 6,000 nautical miles from you now. Over.”
Armstrong replied 12 seconds later, “Okay. Thank you.”
British tabloid newspaper the Daily Star claims astronaut Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin, the second man to set foot on the moon, believed the supposed S-IVB was, in reality, an extraterrestrial spacecraft.
And they organised a “lie detector test” to “prove” it.
The Daily Star’s test involved vocal analysis conducted by a non-profit institution in Ohio called the Institute of BioAcoustic Biology and Sound Health.
“As a bridge between ancient ideas of sound healing and the futuristic, Star Trek, protocols that the institute provides, it is now possible to reverse diseases and traumas previously thought to be incurable, to reveal the secrets of our true nature, to enhance our lives, to predict what may be our fate through the frequencies of our voice,” the institute’s official website reads. No, really.
The company released some Microsoft Word documents with the results of their supposedly state-of-the-art “Star Trek protocol” analysis on excerpts of Buzz Aldrin’s voice taken from the 2006 Discovery Science documentary Apollo 11: The Untold Story.
“There was something out there that was close enough to be observed, and what could it be?” Aldrin said about the incident in the documentary. According to the astronaut, the moment called for prudence, because any precipitated judgment of the object could cost the mission.
“Who knows what somebody would have demanded that we turn back because of aliens or whatever the reason is,” he said in the documentary. The crew ultimately decided to carry on with the mission and mention the sighting later in mission debrief.
The Institute of BioAcoustic Biology and Sound Health put Aldrin’s audio recordings through their “computer analysis” and, well, the result doesn’t look very “computery”. In fact, it reads more like the horoscope section of Reader’s Digest.
“Aldrin believes what he is saying emotionally but has doubts intellectually,” the document reads.
“His ego, on a highly spiritual level, is solidly involved. He has a firm belief in what he saw but logical awareness that he cannot explain what he saw; therefore he thinks he should be doubted.
“His gut level emotions and system of integrity is well grounded with the exception that he has some issues around people asking too much of him and expecting him to take care of things for them.
“For the benefit of the people, he wants his statements about his seeing a UFO to be believed.”
Aldrin has clarified the incident many times since, most notably in a very popular Reddit AMA in 2015 where he said the sun must have glinted off one of the panels of the S-IVB.
“He has never said he saw a UFO. This story has been a fabrication for the sake of headlines and is not true as far as Buzz Aldrin is concerned,” Aldrin’s spokeswoman Christina Korp told the Washington Post.
It’s worth mentioning at this point that the company has a vocal analysis of Paris Hilton that reveals she really thought Hugh Hefner was hot, and another one of Angelina Jolie that allows them to conclude the actress is under “incredible stress”.
So yeah. If Star Trek protocols are effective, and Angelina is really stressed, then maybe, only maybe, Buzz Aldrin did see aliens in space.
Sounds like poetry, doesn’t it?
To cap this insane story off, let’s just reminisce about that glorious time when Buzz Aldrin kicked the s*** out of a filmmaker and conspiracy theorist who called him a “liar” and a “thief”.