Featured Image for The Kiwi version of the The Project just barbecued Australian ‘NO’ voters

The Kiwi version of the The Project just barbecued Australian ‘NO’ voters

The friendly rivalry between Australia and New Zealand is well-documented, and to be honest, we’re kind of losing right now.

Recently, the Kiwis have beaten us in rugby and internet speeds.

They have already thrashed us on the marriage equality issue too, having legalised same-sex marriage way back in 2013.

Now, with voting almost closed for Australia’s same-sex marriage survey, New Zealand’s The Project has taken the opportunity to thoroughly torch ‘NO’ voters.

The show tackled the issue on Thursday in an “Open Letter to Australia” describing the horrors that befell the country after New Zealand made same-sex marriage legal.

“Hi Australia, this is New Zealand. It’s come to our attention that you’re deciding whether or not to legalise gay marriage right now. And as your friend, we’d like to take a moment to urge you not to make the same mistake we did,” host Jesse Mulligan said with obvious sarcasm.

“Please, please vote ‘No’ to same-sex marriage.”

Mulligan then explained how same-sex marriage was a “slippery slope” that resulted in dogs marrying cats, cats marrying birds, birds marrying dogs and babies marrying babies.

He moved on to cover a “crimewave”, Christian lobbyists and Ian Thorpe.

The segment was finished with a hilarious comment on Australia’s status as a lagger on the issue, along with a final warning.

“Australia, the world is watching. It’s time for you to stand up and say ‘No, we don’t want to be in the same club as New Zealand, Britain and the US – we see ourselves somewhere in the democratic sweet spot between Iraq and Yemen,'” he said.

“Don’t be like New Zealand, Australia. Last year, we saw almost a thousand scenes like this, and the country is completely overrun with love.

“Please, don’t let the same thing happen to you.”

Sadly, NO voters truly believe some of the above. But with early polls predicting a YES victory, hopefully, Australia will soon be just as terrible as New Zealand.

About the author

Stefan is an Adelaide-based freelance writer. In his spare time, he plays tennis badly, collects vinyl and brushes up on his Mandarin. Follow Stefan on Twitter

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