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Customer finds freaky spider in Woolies salad because Australia is a terrifying nightmare

A Melbourne shopper got a bit of unexpected extra protein when a spider tumbled out of a salad she made with pre-packed leaves from a local Woolworths.

#AustralianProblems

Brooke Wiramanaden, native of Narre Warren in the city’s South East, retold her hairy experience for news.com.au.

“I was eating my lunch at work and I had pretty much eaten the whole thing when I noticed it,”

“I got two packets but I threw everything out as it made me sick to my stomach,” she said. “I wasn’t happy and I felt physically sick.”

The most curious thing here is that the incident is not at all uncommon in the land down under.

Just last April, a woman from Townsville found none other than a bad-ass, mature female redback spider in a head of broccoli purchased from her local Coles.

Tamahra Moore was innocently slicing her broccoli in the kitchen when she spotted the feared vegetable hitchhiker.

Mrs Moore said, “I was chopping all my vegies up for the week when I saw a flash of black and red, the bloody thing just crawled out,”  “I would have probably been better off with takeaway, as I quite easily could have been bitten.”

Dr Robert Raven, principal spider curator for the Queensland Museum added at the time a bit of extra information that brought the episode a step closer to “Aliens”,

“She could have been building a silken nest in the broccoli as it would have provided a warm, moist location for the eggs it may have been ready to lay,” he said.

“It’s certainly not common but it can happen as redbacks can survive a long time in the distribution chain because they can live for a while without a lot of air or water and they can endure cold temperatures for long periods.”

No, but wait… there’s more.

Zoe Perry, also a Woolworths customer was surprised last year to another specimen from Australia’s exuberant wildlife, this time in her Italian Style Salad Mix.

At the time the supermarket chain was immersed in PR hell after lines of their pre-packaged lettuce and spinach mixes were linked to a number of salmonella poisoning cases.

Zoe Perry posted a video of the Spider on Woolie’s Facebook page, and went to speculate whether the spiders were “behind the salmonella callbacks”.

The clip gathered millions of views in just a few days, forcing a Woolworths social media representative to respond to Perry’s post with a brief statement;

“We’re very concerned about this Zoe, and take incidents like this very seriously.”

Which conveniently brings us back to Ms Wiramanaden’s case and her own pet spider.

Her Facebook post is attracting all sorts of attention, which has prompted the supermarket to make face again, curiously, in a statement that’s almost word for word the same one from last year,

“We’re very concerned about this and take incidents like this very seriously.”

Hmm. They sure like their templates don’t hey? They also said the spider salad issue had been “escalated for immediate investigation”.

It’s worth noting the company has not made any official statement regarding the animals having any radioactive properties. Which is I do have to say, it’s a damn shame. #PeterParkerwillneverbeanAussie

About the author

Filmmaker. 3D artist. Procrastination guru. I spend most of my time doing VFX work for my upcoming film Servicios Públicos, a sci-fi dystopia about robots, overpopulated cities and tyrant states. @iampineros

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