It was made for loving moo.
A baby cow born in Texas is the spitting image of KISS frontman Gene Simmons.
Genie has trademark face markings similar to those adorned by Simmons in his performances with 70s glam rock band KISS. Judging by the image shared to Facebook, Genie also enjoys sticking out her tongue, another Simmons trait.
— Jessica Dill (@JessicaLynnDill) August 1, 2017
In an accompanying caption, Texan tourism company Hill Country Visitor asked Simmons where he was on November 25th, 2016 when the calf was presumably conceived.
That may sound far-fetched, but there was actually a rumour in the 70s that sex-crazed Simmons had a cow-tongue grafted onto his own for … reasons.
Drew Taylor, who runs Hill Country Visitor, told the HuffPost that he got pretty excited about the resemblance and reached out to Simmons, offering to buy the rocker a steak.
This is real, folks!!! Calf called Genie is born on Texas ranch and looks EXACTLY like Kiss rocker Gene Simmons https://t.co/m6CcUlA7cy
— Gene Simmons (@genesimmons) July 31, 2017
Wait a minute. That’s pretty sinister if you think about it. “Hey, we just found a cow that looks like you…wanna come over for a steak?”
Fortunately, Taylor said that the Cowboy Steak House would not be offing Genie anytime soon. See cows, if you want to live you just have to look like an iconic 70s rocker.
“Now Obviously, we can’t serve this fine specimen, we may just keep Genie as we call her, as a Mascot for the Steakhouse,” Hill Country Visitor wrote on behalf of the Cowboy Steak House.
I hate to rain on your parade, but a cow being a mascot for a steakhouse is a special kind of hell, isn’t it?
Genie isn’t the only animal-as-celebrity sighting to impress the internet today.
Another case comes via Reddit. Don’t worry, this one has no dark or sordid backstory. User gryff42 shared this image of a dog that bears an uncanny resemblance to actor William H. Macy.
The post stormed to the top of popular subreddit r/funny, where it has received over 65,000 upvotes and almost 1,000 comments.