It’s getting pretty tough to keep up with everything coming out of the States these days. Whether it’s US President Donald Trump’s claims that former President Barack Obama wiretapped Trump Tower or controversy over made-up massacres, the Alternative Facts are flying thick and fast Stateside.
But if you were expecting a let up, you’d unfortunately be a tad premature.
Trump’s right hand woman Kellyanne Conway has let the cat out of the bag, dropping the alternative truth that your microwave might indeed by spying on you – by turning itself into a camera.
“What I can say is there are many ways to surveil each other now, unfortunately… microwaves that turn into cameras, etc”, Conway told The Record.
Whether the microwaves turn into cameras a la Transformers, or whether they do it much more sneakily, we just don’t know yet.
In a subsequent interview, she said she had no evidence to support the claim – but did not deny it, suggesting that an investigation be launched into Obama and Trump and microwaves, just to get to the bottom of it all.
So has the time come to don a microwave-safe foil hat, throw the thing out the window and warm your food the old the old fashioned way (don’t tell me you’re too good to put your dinner under the bonnet of the car and do a couple of blockies)?
Whether Conway misspoke, whether she is trying to distract everyone from Trump’s terrible health care plan, or whether there really are spy microwaves and she was just trying to warn us, we’re unlikely to get any form of clarification anytime soon.
Of course, social media users had things to say about Conway’s claims.
So there I was heating up my lunch in the microwave and suddenly Kellyanne Conway appeared out of nowhere. Spooky! pic.twitter.com/ZhFeodWoPv
— Desert Rat (@dave_taft) March 13, 2017
omg kellyanne was right watch out for your microwave pic.twitter.com/KQd3Cu7KpT
— Jordan Uhl (@JordanUhl) March 13, 2017
— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) March 13, 2017
— Charles M. Blow (@CharlesMBlow) March 13, 2017
But Techly’s microwave-based investigations will continue. We’ve decided to stage a nacho-flavoured protest, nuking plate after plate of grated cheese on corn chips until we find out if our microwave really is spying on us.
We’ll keep you updated.
Then we can get back to the REAL news – i.e. castigating President Trump for his well-done steaks with tomato sauce – which all of us – even vegans – will agree is a crime against humanity.