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The IKEA solution for the POTUS who has everything

Here at Techly, we love a good Trump-administration roasting as much as we love a good phoney IKEA advertisement ridiculing those people who deserve to be ridiculed.

So this post on German satirical news website The Postillon, hits just the right spot, combining these two into a phoney IKEA advertisement-roasting bonanza.

(So does that make it fake news or real news, according to Donald Trump’s alternate facts guidelines?)

The advertisement is for their latest and greatest essential item for national security, the Börder Wåll (pronounced ‘border wall’), which promises to keep all those dang unhappy-looking, sombrero-wearing Mexicans where they belong.

Retailing at US$9,999,999,999.99, the Börder Wåll is an absolute bargain when compared to the official estimates, which were leaked earlier this month, that show the Mexican border wall is probably going to cost in the vicinity of $US22 billion to construct.

(Side note, this is a real estimate. Instead of investing in, say, education or health care, they’re going to spend $22 billion dollars to build a wall. One which, despite what Trump says, Mexico is still adamant they won’t be footing the bill for.)

The advertisement goes on to illustrate what the 7,198,864-piece (plus hex-key) project should look like when completed, and features a 12,000-page instruction manual — though really, I’m sure they could have saved a lot of paper and just shown how to build one section and then written “Repeat x 471,612.”

There is no mention of how many flat packs are actually needed to ship the Börder Wåll, but since my IKEA-bought bookshelf needed two, this would need at least twice that many.

There was also no mention of an estimated construction time, but since it requires two people to build, they could probably knock it together on a Saturday afternoon.

Of course, whoever does build it would have to be careful they don’t stand on the wrong side and accidentally wall themselves into Mexico.

Then it would be utterly impossible to ever get back into the USA.

Lead image: The Postillon

About the author

Tyler is currently based in Canberra, though he rejects this reality and enjoys immersing himself in games, technology, and comics. You can usually catch him trying to find that last shard/flag/feather.
Twitter: @FinalAlchemist

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