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The coldpocalypse has arrived in Melbourne and we kinda deserve it

If you are yet to set foot outside today, don’t let that blue sky fool you. It’s cold Melbourne. Like Antarctic, chill-you-to-the-bone cold.

In fact, the mercury plummeted so rapidly last night that I wouldn’t be surprised to find it leaking from the bottom of my thermometer. Wind has whipped through the streets at 90km/h, trees have fallen onto the roads, deadly black ice has invaded, and even snow has fallen in the Dandenong Ranges – and it’s not over yet.

Being an adoptee of this sweet southern city, it will forever hold a special place in my heart – I did choose to live here after all. However, I truly think we deserve this vile weather. Come on, hear me out.

If you thought that the ‘deconstructed latte‘ was bad, you obviously haven’t heard of the blue algae latte yet. Yes, you read that correctly; there is live E3 blue algae in this drink.

Available exclusively from St Kilda’s Matcha Mylkbar, a vegan establishment that serves up all manner of plant-based delights, the drink is a curious blend of lemon, ginger, agave, coconut ‘mylk’, and Papa Smurf’s blood algae.

Sahhhh Melbourne.

While I’m yet to brave the weather and peddle my vintage bicycle down to St Kilda for a try, the drink has been described by Matcha Mylkbar co-owner Nic Anderson as tasting like “sour milk” – which really doesn’t sound very appealing at all. It looks like it should taste like a blue heaven milkshake.

Alas, it isn’t just the sky trying to trick us with its fantastic blue sheen.

Sorry Melbourne, we’ve gone one step too far this time. But hey, at least we have our blue algae lattes to keep us warm. *vomits*

About the author

Cormack is a Melbourne based freelance writer and photographer. He loves to travel, drink red wine, and spin records. On the weekends you’ll most likely find him eating pork buns or shaking up cocktails for his friends.

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