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A pill has been invented that makes your farts actually smell like chocolate

The French are such a sophisticated lot they’ve even found a way to class-up farting. One flatulent Frog, Christian Poincheval, has created a way to make breaking wind a more pleasant experience for those around him – by making farts smell of flowers or chocolate!

His invention is called Pilule Pet, which is further evidence of how classy the French are – doesn’t Pilule Pet sound so much more stylish than the English translation, ‘fart pills’?

According to the Pilule Pet website, the idea for the pills came about at a dinner party.

During a copious dinner Christian Poincheval said to himself that it would be more appropriate to be able to fart without bothering his neighbours!

After much research with a laboratory and many many tests the Fart Pill finally saw the light of day.

The company also makes a special powder form of the pill for stinky dogs, which are presently on back order due to popular demand.

The first pills to hit the market made farts smell of flowers – either roses or violets. But a new fragrance is about to hit noses in time for Christmas – chocolate.

Every year we wonder if we should do it and this year it is done! Our renowned fart pill is back with a xmas fragrance based on real cocoa. You can now fart through to the New Year in grand style.
The pills have the usual benefits of our recipe like reducing intenstinal gas and bloating.

That’s right, along with making your farts pleasant on the nose, the pills have the added benefit of being good for your guts. According to the company’s ‘lab’, the pills contain charcoal, fennel seeds, lithothamnium (red seaweed), propolis, and blueberries.

The charcoal – “obtained from charred plant materials such as poplar, lime or coconut shells” – relieves flatulence and that ‘full’ feeling after a meal. The fennel seeds help get rid of any present gas. The lithothamnium neutralises stomach acid and combats acid reflux. The propolis – a resin created by bees – is said to help fight gastric ulcers (according to “recent studies”). The blueberries are a cure for diarrhoea.

Quite how a mixture of charcoal, seaweed, blueberries and bee resin come together to make farts smell of chocolate isn’t clear.

So how much are you looking at to give your flatulence floral fragrances?

A bottle of 60 pills will set you back €9.99 ($14.50), plus €6.90 ($10) shipping. The recommended daily dosage is “2 to 6 capsules per day at meal times”, so you’ll churn through at least a bottle a month, but possibly as many as three. That’s an annual cost of between $300 and $900, although there is a deal on the Pilule Pet where you get four bottles of either violet or rose pills for the price of three.

Looks like the only people who’ll be able to afford the pills are those who already think their farts don’t stink. Probably for the best – you don’t want to end up as the person who enjoys the smell of their own farts.

About the author

Joe was Junior Vice-President at Compu-Global-Hyper-Mega-Net until it was bought out by Bill Gates. He now subedits for Conversant Media and considers it a step up.

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